


The show must go on

by noemiluisa



Series: Kuroshitsuji [5]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, Original Character Death(s), Sad, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 04:59:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8831443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noemiluisa/pseuds/noemiluisa
Summary: Ciel's final day and his eventual death as Sebastian consumes his soul.WARNING:Major character's death. Angs/TragedyMentions to the song 'The show must go on'.I do not own Kuroshitsuji nor its characters.





	

It was checkmate for Ciel, at last his final hour had come. The contract had been fulfilled and those who had soiled his pride and his body were all dead, burnt into his fiery rage. Now, the time to pay the price for his demon’s services had come. Although Ciel had already rejected life, revenge being the only thing driving him, he was still human. Naturally, when the last of his enemies fell he felt a sense of satisfaction along with loss, for now he had no purpose to continue living. Nevertheless, his primal instinct to survive screamed at him to run away, hide, seek shelter from his faithful servant, and the only ones who could have offered this were the reapers. Yet he was by far too proud to admit his fear or listen to his animal instincts. He knew that Sebastian had earned what he was getting and thus he didn’t waste time contemplating the futile escape plans which pushed at the borders of his consciousness.

He wondered when exactly the demon would have claimed his soul and if there would have been a warning at all before he took away his life. For as brave as he might have wanted to appear he was still a teenager who would routinely wake up in the middle of the night screaming because of nightmares. The dutiful butler would then soon be by his side comforting him, but now…things were different now that the same butler was the cause of his discomfort.

The earl sighed as he looked at Sebastian fastening the buttons on his nightshirt in a moonless night, wondering if the demon was going to tear him apart there and then. His contract was still shining into his right orb, though he felt the power shift from his side to the demon’s. It was like a curse, the pentagram imprinted into his eye served as a mark for the demon to always find him, should he try to run away.

   Ciel laughed softly and, at Sebastian’s enquiring look, he pressed his palm against this violet eye and replied, ‘This contract which binds us as master and servant…it has been fulfilled now and as such its only purpose is to mark me as your promised meal, isn’t it demon?’

   He did not call Sebastian by the name he had given him. No, he let his spite linger in the air as he spat the word _demon_ at him, although he was sure the older being wouldn’t have been too affected by it.

‘Excellent way of picturing it, Bocchan. That is exactly what it has become now. May I ask if there is anything troubling you at this point?’ he said with a smirk.

Ciel hesitated, considering his unanswered questions in an attempt to prioritise some over the others. He needed to know, even if it meant very little now, how and when the demon intended to take his prize. He was already distressed enough by the thought of dying soon, leaving him oblivious about the means and the time was pure torture. ‘Tell me, demon, when do you plan on taking my soul?’

Sebastian’s grin widened and his red eyes glowed into the dark. ‘My, my do you dread the inevitable, Bocchan? Have you started to reconsider your end of the contract?’

Ciel snapped at his words, pride shining into his eyes as he spoke ‘Don’t underestimate me, demon. I am the Earl of Phantomhive and I shall keep my word whatever fate awaits for me’.

‘Then, my little lord, please enlighten me as to why you ask,’ Sebastian replied baring his fangs, ‘If not for planning to run away’.

‘Who do you take me for, Sebastian?’ Ciel said before biting on his lips, he had not meant to use the butler’s human name anymore. ‘I know all-too-well how vain any attempt of escape would be. However…’ he hesitated again, eyes to the side and a pink blush on his cheeks. 

‘However, my Lord?’ Sebastian pressed him, licking his lips while savouring the scent of anxiety mixed with embarrassment coming from Ciel.

Ciel’s breath trembled before he resumed, ‘However, I believe that even as damned as I am I still deserve to know the time of my planned death’. The child waited for an answer, suspense growing by the minute.

‘Would that put your young mind at ease, my Lord?’ Sebastian asked with a questioning look.

Ciel’s heart sped up, he didn’t know if the demon was planning on giving him some peace now that he was not a pawn in his hand anymore, after all weren’t demons supposed to be sadistic creatures? Unable to speak, for his tongue had gone limp, he slowly nodded, eyes fixed into those red orbs which stared back at him with burning hunger.

‘I can assure you, it is not going to be tonight. This should suffice to calm you down for now,’ the black butler smirked letting Ciel see his white sharp fangs. 

The child gulped, not fully satisfied with the answer. For a moment, he pondered the chance of ordering Sebastian to abide his will and tell him, but then set the thought aside lest the demon chose to go back on what he had just said and consume him now. Ciel sighed, ‘I suppose this is as much as I can get out of you now. I am tired, put me to sleep’. The butler respectfully bowed and taking the small form into his arms he placed the earl onto the bed, adjusted the sheets and blew the candle’s light off. ‘Sleep well, Bocchan,’ he said before leaving.

As soon as Sebastian had left, a chill ran down Ciel’s spine. _Sleep well…_ as if he could ever manage to fall asleep now. His heart was beating so hard he feared it might have damaged his ribcage somehow. For a mere instant he considered the idea of planting a bullet through his head and end it all before Sebastian could take his soul. Then he realized how foolish and ungrateful of him that action would have been. His demon deserved his meal after all.

He laid in his bed for hours, listening to the ticking of the clock on the wall. Time, it was slowly flowing as he waited for his death to come, as he grew more and more irritated by the sound, thinking of all the injustices he had had to put up with. Why did he have to go through with this? He was a child, had been burned and hurt, he had been enslaved, his parents had been murdered and he had been tortured, for God’s sake.

In a fit of anger, he rose from his bed and went to the window, the wind was roaring and he screamed out all of his frustration. It was not fair that his short life should be ended like this he told himself, even if he had made a contract, it was not fair at all, he had been a mere ten-year-old  at the time, how could he know? He was scared and scarred, his cries had been answered by a demon and he had welcomed the promise of death. It was just too unfair; time, he thought, he wanted more time to live, to enjoy the taste of life he had be wasting away for the past three years.

And that damned clock was reminding him that he had finally ran out of time. In an attempt to silence it, he grabbed the artefact and crushed it on the floor. Glass and wood shattered, cutting his delicate skin. He ignored the pain and stepped on it, brutally hurting himself in the process of further destroying the instrument which was making him insane.

Strong arms pulled him from behind and he looked up, face disfigured with rage. Sebastian was towering him with a concerned look. Soon he regained his composure, ashamed of what he had just done. As an explanation he quietly said, ‘The noise was disturbing my sleep…clean this mess up, Sebastian’.

Red eyes glowed into the dark and the demon considered if it was the case of telling his mater that he no longer had any right to order him around. Yet he did not, pretending to obey, he cleaned the floor in the blink of an eye and changed Ciel’s suit as well. ‘Is there anything else my Master’s wishes for?’

The kid’s eyes ran over his figure, and for a moment it seemed he was going to say something, then he shook his head and said, ‘I’ll be fine by myself, you may leave’. Sebastian bowed and then disappeared through the door. Alone once again, Ciel gritted his teeth clenching his fists so much his nails drew blood from his hands, but he cared not. His butler had seen him in that state and that was unacceptable. He was the head of the Phantomhive house and his pride came before everything. He needed to compose himself and be presentable when the time would come.

Shacking he got back into the bed, this time with no intention of attempting to sleep at all. He meticulously planned his every move and step he would have to take from now on in order for his façade not to crack again. He would much rather die than expose his weak side once more.

Unwanted, Sebastian’s words echoed into his mind, _I can assure you, it is not going to be tonight._ His tone had ben cunning, as usual, and Ciel wondered if he had told him the truth. He was no longer obliged to, was he? Contract fulfilled, the Earl was sure enough that Sebastian did not need to obey any of his orders anymore. He sighed, _if my hour is to come tonight so be it, I shall not falter ever again._ He clenched his jaw and stiffened in bed, waiting for dawn to come, hoping the sun would rise earlier that morning.

 

…

Ciel trashed into his sleep, nightmares tormenting him as usual. He had finally fallen asleep when it was almost time for him to wake up, so it was not long before Sebastian was by his side. The butler observed his former master grow uneasy second by second, calling his name in his unconscious state, trembling with fear as unshed tears formed at the corner of his eyes. A faint smile appeared on his lips as he watched the little human in pain below him. He knew he had to wake him up, yet delayed that moment while enjoying the amusing sight before his eyes.

Sweat ran down Ciel’s spine and his hair was sticky. He grabbed the sheets and managed to tangle himself tightly into them. He was going to strangle himself at this rate, while fast hiccups had started to erupt from his pale lips. At last, the demon decided it was enough as he didn’t want to run the risk of the kid dying on him right now. ‘Wake up, Bocchan,’ he gently whispered. Ciel shifted to the side, refusing to open his eyes. ‘Bocchan, it’s time to get up,’ the butler insisted. Shadows of the nightmare still lingered at the corner of his sight when he finally sat up with a start and ide eyes.  

‘S-sebastian…I’ Ciel started, but then he closed his mouth and fell silent. He stared at his butler without uttering a single word and with an impenetrable look. Had not been for the slight tension in his hands he would have appeared as calm as any other morning.

‘Good morning, Bocchan,’ Sebastian said with a wide smile, ‘Today’s breakfast is Earl Grey Blue Flower tea, accompanied by a freshly baked slice of apricot cake’.

The Earl winched when Sebastian’s fingers brushed his own while he handed him the cup of tea. ‘My apologies, Bocchan’.

Ciel didn’t reply and focused on his tea, this could have been his last cup he reminded himself. His eyes narrowed and he pursed his lips together. Noticing that Sebastian was watching him carefully he forced himself to relax and sipped the tea. ‘What’s on my schedule today, Sebastian?’ he asked to distract himself.

‘You are to see Tanaka to discuss of the fate of your property and of your servants in case you suddenly left,’ he said with a grave look.

Ciel took the hint that his time was finally coming to an end this time, probably during this very day. ‘Very well, dress me then’.

As Sebastian’s silky fingers brushed his sensitive skin he stared at his butler. He was determined not to show him any signs of weakness, no matter how cruel things turned out to be for him. When the last strand of clothes was in place, the butler bowed to him and they both left the room. Being the queen’s watchdog, it was not that surprising that he could have plans in case of his death even at such young age.

Tanaka was rather compliant as Ciel dictated his last will to him and he took notes. Everything seemed to go smooth for Ciel as the day progressed. There were no major accidents at the manor, his other servants miraculously managed to avoid setting on fire the house and for once he felt sad that no young Lady dressed up in pink ribbons would burst through the door claiming his attention.

_I should probably write a letter to Lizzie, or an apology or something…but then she would know. Ah, this is so nerve-wracking. I can’t just leave like this without seeing her one last time._

‘Young Master, do you wish to visit someone today?’ his Butler interrupted his thoughts. Ciel looked up at him, understanding that the demon was giving him the chance to say his final goodbyes before taking his soul. He wondered if he had been strong enough to bear to see Lizzie knowing death would come to him in a few hours. ‘We are going to the Midford’s,’ he announced taking hold of his crane and hat as he moved towards the way out. ‘Yes, my Lord’.

The carriage’s ride was spent in silence as master and servant stared at each other. Hungry red eyes pierced an emotionless blue one, sharp pointed fangs reminded the child that his death was looking at him though those very red orbs.

 

A surprised Lizzie grabbed him by the neck pulling him into a suffocating embrace as she screamed ‘Ciel!’

‘Lizzy, I can’t breathe…’ the Earl managed to say.

‘Sorry, I was just soo happy to see you’. A smile played on her lips and he felt a stung into his heart. _So happy._ He forced his lips to curl into a smile and replied, ‘I am happy as well’.

‘Why did you come? Is anything wrong?’ Lady Elizabeth’s brows furrowed, she was not expecting Ciel to come and visit her on his own free will, unless something bad had happened.

‘Nothing you should concern yourself about, my love’. Ciel answered with the sweetest tone he could muster. He needed to clear all other doubts. ‘I came because I wanted to see you’.

Too taken aback by the fact that he had called her ‘his love’ Lizzie did not mind too much about Ciel’s sudden appearance and the strangeness of it all, considering his detached character. They moved into the house where he met his aunt and chatted a bit. At last, when darkness was starting to fall around them, Ciel got up and took his leave, saluting everyone inside with the most sincere smile of his life.

‘Young Master,’ his butler voice came from behind him, sending shivers down his spine.

‘What is it, Sebastian?’ he asked, his voice a bit too sharp.

The dark man did not reply, holding his carriage door open for him. Ciel walked towards him as a man walks towards the gallows and stopped before him without entering the vehicle.

Sebastian rose an eyebrow questioning his actions. The little Lord held his gaze, trying to decipher his butler’s mind. Finally, he gave up and entered the carriage soon followed by the demon who closed the door behind him. Ciel felt tired, of all the games they had been playing all this time. Why wouldn’t Sebastian just hurry the hell up and take his soul instead of torturing him so? Was he waiting for the Earl to break? Did he want him to scream and beg or maybe even run away? If so, Ciel was sure he was never getting any of that, for he was too proud to succumb to such low behaviour.

When they reached the manor, he ordered him to prepare a cake and when the butler didn’t put up the usual protest about him not eating a proper dinner, Ciel knew it was time. This was the night. As he moved upstairs waiting for his cake, he stopped in front of the old Phantomhive painting, looking straight into his father’s painted eyes. He brushed his hair with his hand and took away the eyepatch, soon entering his own bedroom.

Sebastian was already there, cake on a silver plate, waiting for him. The Earl sat on the big bed making himself comfortable, and a tray was placed in front of him. A white cloth covered it and soon cutlery and cake followed. Sebastian stood watch over him as he consumed his cake, the last one of his life. The sugary taste melted into his mouth sending pleasure straight into his brain and he savoured it for he knew there would be no more of it after he had finished this one.

Rain ticked outside of the window but he did not mind it. A stormy night seemed to be perfectly fitting for his demise. His soul wasn’t one allowed to rest in peace, so why would he want a peaceful setting to play his final moments? It was all an act after all. His life, his words, his revenge…it had all been a play. He had thought himself to be the Master behind the curtains moving the puppets as he pleased. Still, it was his demon who was going to live eternally after devouring his soul.

He got up, waiting for his butler to change his clothes. Sebastian got closer, his hot breath reaching the child skin. Ciel repressed a shiver, sadly aware that he only had a few spare seconds left, a few more seconds to pretend. The demon smirked, he of course could perceive the smallest tension in his body and was aware of his efforts not to break.

‘Bocchan,’ he said grazing the kid’s chin. Like in a muted pantomime, Ciel gestured for him to proceed, signalling to the demon that he was ready through his eyes.  _Whatever happens I will not falter._ Ciel wanted to close his eyes and mask the fear that was building up inside him, the pain and regret that he felt spreading through his whole being. His heart ached and he did not know why. _What was I truly living for?_  He found himself asking questions he did not know how to answer while his butler’s fingers worked on his garments freeing him from his clothes one by one.

Time seemed to freeze as he locked eyes with Sebastian only to see the hunger shining red inside the demon. _I’ll soon be turning into a cold dead body, his burning gaze shouldn’t be of concern to me as long as I can keep up my fiery appearance._ But his mask was sliding, his teeth gritting as a glimpse of panic flashed through his eyes. Again, Sebastian caressed his cheek, with the slowest motion in the world, as if wanting to delay the end himself. Yet Ciel was no fool, he knew the demon was just savouring his meal at his own pace.

Unable to stop himself he gasped when Sebastian’s finger slid down his throat. ‘Bocchan, you look delicious’. The demon’s fangs were already sharply protruding outside of his mouth a wild look on his face.

‘Then why don’t you try and taste me, demon?’ Ciel wittingly said, wishing for him to be quick.

‘My, my are you in a hurry?’ the demon teased him.

‘I think you should hasten you pace, before a reaper comes to interrupt.’ He bitterly replied.

‘Worry not, dear Bocchan, nobody is coming to save you,’ he whispered to the Earl’s ear. ‘A soul which has been signed off by a contract such as yours doesn’t belong to the reapers anymore. They won’t come’.

Hopelessness and hollow filled the child’s heart, but nothing showed on his face. _Even if my heart is breaking I shall not show any sign of weakness, I won’t give you this pleasure, demon._ Sebastian giggled, probably aware of his struggle to keep a composed expression. ‘Why, my Lord, are you afraid to show your weak side to me? Haven’t I seen you naked, crying, in fear and begging already, Ciel?’

Being called by his given name made Ciel’s stomach revolted inside him. Had they been in a different situation, his hand would have already made contact with the porcelain white skin of the demon, but this time it was different He was frozen, his body unresponsive to his request to move, too surprised by the effect that the mere sound of his name on the demon’s lips had on his body.

‘Mm? Not going to slap me? I see, you are paralysed with fear…’

This time Ciel hit the butler straight into his face, making it turn to the side. ‘How dare you. I am not afraid of death. This is the fate I chose with my own hands, and I will fulfil it. Now take my soul as you are supposed to’.

A dark sound came from Sebastian, resembling something on between a laugh and a growl. ‘You are amusing, Bocchan. Haven’t I told you,’ the demon turned, glowing red eyes looking at the child, ‘A meal tastes better the more you starve for it? Why would I ruin my long-awaited dinner by rushing it?’

Ciel’s teeth gritted again, he clenched his fists and said nothing. Waiting, it had never been more excruciating, as Sebastian exposed his naked flesh to the cold air of the night and brushed his thumb against his chest. His nightshirt was soon covering his body, and Ciel felt a bit of normality return into the room as the usual act was played once again, even if he knew it was all a farce. The Phantomhive child was no fool, for he knew this was all in preparation of the final banquet, Sebastian was _dressing_ him.

_Behind the curtains, all is real, the emotions, the feelings of the actors…but on the stage, that’s where the pretence starts and I am now dancing in a swirl of fire with my demon butler, a dance of death, ‘Bocchan’ he whispers to my ear, but I know better than reacting as a silly woman. I keep my shoulders even, my posture is firm and my gaze cold, I am ready to take the crashing waves which are coming towards me. It’s like a failed romance, my soul could have never been free, it was already tainted and joy fills my heart as I think that those who cause all this paid dearly for it. But after a moment, joy itself is replaced by sorrow._

Sebastian arched over the child he is now embracing close, as if mocking a loving pose. He licked the flesh, taking in the flavour of that sweet soul. And time still flowed for the Earl, time had not stopped yet, nor had his torment.

_My soul was corrupted by sin, vengeance claimed it at last, I had to endure torments in my life, yet never one was this hard as this. I don’t want you to see me cry, not on the night I give my soul to you, it is a willing choice I made with all my heart. I shouldn’t be sad, I shouldn’t be scared…yet I am…I am human after all, and you’re a demon, consuming me. There’s nothing awaiting for me, if not a sombre future. Oh, Sebastian, would you stop this torture and just take me already?_

Like in a fairytale of  the old times, when darkness was not defeated by light, the demon curled his lips and a dark aura surrounded both bodies, his mouth connected with Ciel’s and slowly he dragged out the child’s essence. At times, he stopped, looked at his master expressionless face, that façade still standing, still there, unfaltering.

_Another hour, to pretend, another minute and all should end. My soul is painted in all the colours of sins, yet I believe it also holds the flavour of my feelings, my will to live finally resurfacing after years of being dormant. Does it taste good, I wonder, Sebastian? Are you enjoying your meal? It would seem so._

He wanted to scream, so badly, he needed to. But he refrained, for screams of pain would show his weakness and he couldn’t allow that. _The show must go on, even if my heart if breaking…my smile still stays on._ And he wrapped his arms around Sebastian to better sustain himself, feeling a chuckle against his lips. The demon broke the kiss and pushed him onto the bed, following atop him. He tasted the trembling figure below him, although Ciel’s flesh was not part of the contract.  

_I can feel I am close, death is smiling at me from behind Sebastian’s shoulder. It’s funny though, I had not expected to see her coming to greet me, after all I am supposed to be Sebastian’s property now. I am so hurt, so painful, yet I cannot fail my word, the show must go on, I’ll face it with a grin, I will never give in…Sebastian, please hurry up while these thoughts are still true. I don’t want to beg for my life…No, I won’t give up, I am unlike others. I’ll keep up appearances, I am Ciel Phantomhive, Earl of Phantomhive, the Queen’s watchdog, and you demon will have my soul but you’ll never break my pride._

_…_

Outside, dawn broke, but inside the room Ciel’s soul struggled and ached to be free while being wrapped up into the demon’s darkness. ‘The show ends here, Ciel,’ the demon whispered to the lifeless body of the once-was Earl of Phantomhive. ‘It was the best meal I have had in ages. Now then, time to find a new Master’.

And the figure of the butler Sebastian Michaelis dissolved, leaving behind only dark shadows surrounding a little white corpse on the bed. When the servants finally found the body, it still had a proud expression on his face, even in death the show still continues. 

 


End file.
